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Locked treasures beneath the tree

2nd December, 2008. 10:27 pm.

I knew better. I am so much smarter than this. I automatically want to start looking at myself and try to fix what is wrong with me. I start making excuses for him and blaming myself. The truth is that he is just a complete asshole. He didn't and will not ever deserve me. The worst part is that he got me. He got all of me. I let someone feel like they could have that power over me and that is really the only thing that crushes me deep inside. I almost feel violated. I am a grown up though. i make my own decisions and even though this opened my heart and broke it apart, its okay. Life goes on. I will get over this. I really wish i wouldn't have steered so far away from my faith. I believe in so much, and I have stopped. I let my guard down and I got hurt. I'm not saying its bad to try something, but I really wasn't smart about this. Now I am just another statistic.
I really hate him. He is a liar...and the worst kind....the nice ones. The ones that get away with it because they aren't as vocal about it. I am so sad. No. Just Numb.
:(

Current mood: numb.

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2nd December, 2008. 10:38 pm.

He is dating another girl. He could do that with me and tell me all this bullshit and then the next day start a relationship with someone else.
I dont get it!

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